6000 miles - 13 states - 45 days - 7 burgers - 4 movies - 15 hikes - 1 flat tire - 0 plans fulfilled
We are back where we started, undercover and sneaking around Pagosa Springs six weeks to the day that we took off on this unintended intentional journey. There are some housekeeping items to attend to and a quick buck to be made but we are clandestine, sleuthing around town like Marty and Doc in 50's Hill Valley. That's Heavy. To this day, nothing has gone as expected but we're healthy, safe and after almost 45 straight days together, we're still madly in love. This trip full of twists and turns, hospitals and hamburgers, is shaping up as a once-in-a-lifetime journey that is strengthening our bond as every plan 'fails' and every improvisation is met with a WTF attitude that finds us laughing uncontrollably and the absurdity of it all. We are lucky.
It's been close to a month since I've posted. Somehow, spending time among the whirring, beeping and whizzing of a ICU soundtrack doesn't create content that I'm in a hurry to share. My dad is doing better - thanks to all that have checked in - he is now home after a months long stay in that horrible place that people go to die. His laugh and spirit never left even as his breath escaped him. His legs don't work like they used to but damn straight if he's going to let that deter him from being independently mobile. I appreciate his resolve and his strength through all of this. My step-mother is an angel picked right out of a John Prine song, sitting by my dad's side at every moment, inquisitively navigating the mind-numbing atrocities that occur on a daily basis in the American healthcare corporation. And what can I say about my beautiful bride? She's had my back and held my hand tightly through every moment of this difficult time, never uttering a sour word about what, where, when or why. "How do people exist in this heat?" Sarah asks. "Fair question. I don't know how I did it for 5 summers and no air conditioning. I was a lot thinner" I answer.
I will make an effort to update on a more regular basis as our trip resumes in the North East quadrant of this beautiful country. For now, I will, as promised, provide you with a list of the top 10 adventures, eats, drinks, swimmin holes and chicken rolls that we stumbled upon during our 3 week stay in Tennessee and Western North Carolina, most of which will not be a trick to end belly fat.
#10
Late night Waffle House
Weaverville, North Carolina
I order my hash browns large, smothered, covered, diced and chunked. It's a right of passage for soaking up boozy McBooze face at 1 am.
#9
East Nashville
East Nasvhille is where 96% of my college buddies ended up relocating after graduating (or not) from Middle Tennessee State University. It's way cooler than the glitz and glamour of the lower Broadway honky-tonks of downtown Nashville. In fact, it's way cooler than you are, so don't bother coming unless you are covered (tatted), smothered (cigs and PBR), diced (a musician) and chunked (black/flannel).
One of the finest late night diners any side of the Mississippi. Excellent burgers, fries and frito pie. Terrible drinks and loud, often questionable music.
Cocktails expertly crafted under the peering, glazed over eyes of many a mounted mammal by a bartender that gives less of a shit than you.
Nashville's answer to In-N-Out. Founded by pitmaster Pat Martin of award winning Martin's BBQ, this throwback burger and fries joint serves up delicious and straight-forward cheeseburgers that you can customize with pit smoked pulled pork, bacon, cheese and slaw. But why do that? They are perfectly cooked (crispy to the edge) and delicious as is. Don't screw it up.
The best, consistent, diverse and exciting live music/dance party lineup in Nashville. Soul Sunday,
Mowtown Monday, $2 Tuesday hosted by the Lyle Lovett-esque Derek Hoke. Swing dancing, 80's dance parties and a rotating schedule of punk, funk, rock, country and soul on the weekends keeps you on your toes while standing asses to elbows with your favorite country music sidemen.
#8
Nashville
Don't let the wining and dining fool you, we are on a strict budget. We have to work odd-jobs to maintain this glamorous lifestyle (more on this later). HOWEVER, we have become experts on finding happy hours and Flyte has one of the best. $5 vodka or gin martinis and 25% off the starter menu - locally sourced and delicious everything - allows you to ball on budget before hitting up shows at:
#7
Nashville
Beautiful (yay!) Chain (boo!) Wine (yay!) Expeisive (boo!) Great sound (yay!) really expensive (boo!) Fantastic Negrito (YAY!) $15 martinis (BOO HISS BOO!)
#6
Dry Falls
Franklin, NC
15 miles from quaint downtown Franklin, North Carolina is a treasure trove of waterfalls, hikes, mountain top lakes and hidden old money estates. Dry Falls lies below a short walk punctuated by loud children, chain smokers, selfie stickers, insta posers and litter bugs - all enjoying the serene sounds of nature and car alarms. It's beautiful. We couldn't leave soon enough.
#5
Ozone Falls
East Tennessee
Located a few miles off of I-40 about an hour west of Knoxville, this "waterin hole" provided welcome road-side relief akin to a 64 ounce truck-stop Mountain Dew and fried chicken** A quick scamper down several strategically placed rocks and boulders led us to this oasis in the mid-summer heat. Outside of the deliverance lookin fellas with their ubiquitous cigarettes, this was a surprise find that we enjoyed tremendously.
#4
Dodge's Chicken Store
Murfreesboro, TN
**Truck-stop fried chicken and pizza sticks can indeed provide welcome road side relief after a hard day of reminiscing at many a college watering hole. Sub 64 ounce Mountain Dew for brown bag Coors Light, please. I don't recall having this bad of heartburn after eating this same meal in college...?
#3
Asheville, NC
Everything you've heard about Asheville is true. All of it. Great live music scene, more breweries than hippies, "mountains" and a foodie paradise. We got an inside scoop that our pals Fantastic Negrito would be performing for free .99 at Downtown After 5, a wonderful monthly concert series that is put on by the Asheville Downtown Association. Our intel operative also suggested that we hit up:
The Lazy Diamond
A punk-rock shot-n-beer dive bar that's equal parts fuck you and c'mon in. Show your membership card at the door, have a seat at the bar, and tap your fingers to the agitated frenzy pulsating through the joint. Walls are adorned with show posters and bathrooms with graffiti. Skee ball and pop-a-shot are as thirsty for you quarters as you are for a tall PBR. Drink up.
Nine Mile
Caribbean inspired and vegetarian friendly. Pasta and rice dishes topped with outstanding jerk chicken, fish or veg in complex and imaginative coulis spiked with a touch of cream, ginger and spice. Perfect black beans and tangy, tropical salsas accompany generous portions at very affordable lunch prices.
#2
Buxton Hall Barbecue
Asheville, NC
I could wax poetic about this church of smoked meats - East Carolina style low-and-slow all wood, whole hog barbecue. Tender and squeaky green beans with a shot of vinegar simmered under the cooking pig, bathing in a shower of pork jus. Cheerwine bourbon slushies and a life-altering smoked and fried chicken/bread and butter pickle/pimento cheese sando on house made biscuits that had me plotting a move to Asheville in order to learn the Jedi master secrets. Buxton Hall, you complete me!
#1
Friends & Family
This trip wouldn't be possible or nearly as enjoyable without the support and hospitality of our incredible friends and family dotted throughout the country. I was about to go off on some tangent about how we all need to get out, take the path less traveled, reconnect with nature and some other bullshit but I'm getting tired of writing, so I'm going to cop out, use a quote and post a pretty picture. Thanks to my brothers Dave, Jeremy, Mark, Chris and Vic for showing us the good times in TN and NC. Thanks to our family for all the love and support.
Smoky Mountains
Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina
Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here!
-Young Biff
