More awesome gas station finds

Sega UFO Catcher.

OF COURSE!
I wanted that damn Garfield. He was taunting me with those eyes.

Nothing screams, "Hey, truck driver, you need this!" more than a couple of 3-D wildlife posters. Where is the one with the wolf attacking the puppies?

You think the patriot who picks up this hat prefers green tea or jasmine? Wait, it's the south, they probably enjoy sweet tea. That's pretty obvious, right?

Motorcycle Boots!!!!!
I bet the The Techno Viking would need motorcycle boots.

Techno Viking you ask?
Welcome To The Thunderdome

Wait for it!!!!!

I said WAIT!

Alright, we may proceed. As the days are melting away toward the summer solstice, I need to get this here tour diary completed. By my count, I've got 4 cities to go. What I'm going to do is limit myself to a haiku for every city, that way I can be done with this and move on toward better things, like exercising. Which I very badly am in need of after a 3 week tour and all of the meat sized-deep-fried portions of meat that I ate whilst whistling Dixie and strumming me banjo. I had some fish too. Deep fried fish, dipped in meat with meat garnish and a large meat cola... Diet cola to be sure.

LOUISVILLE, KY
5.25.10

Skyline Chili Cheese
My Stomach Is Full Of You
Hideaway Was Fun

Chili 3-Ways. Great vinegar based hot sauce.

KNOXVILLE, TN
5.27.10

Bass Made out of Saab
Paging Doctor Groupie. Red
Live Blue Plate Special

I really dug the public art in Knoxville

Signaling Aliens....

...thus, Aliens read silver metal book in the fourth dimension

Told you. Bass made out of Saab -- and recycled Arkansas hardwood. Them boys was crazy, and that Bass sounded KILLER!

The name of the band from Arkansas is Cletus Got Shot. If you like your bluegrass dirty, check 'em out!

The Congress did a radio interview and performance at WDVX, an award winning community supported radio station in Knoxville. The show is called "Blue Plate Special". It's hosted by a spunky DJ named Red Hickey. Yep, that's what I said. The WDVX studios are located inside the Knoxville Chamber of Commerce. Also contained within the Knoxville Chamber of Commerce is a coffee shop, live performance stage, a plethora of blue plates with photos of various bluegrass bands and an elevator. By the time we hit the stage, there was a nice crowd of tourists that had come to have a little lunch, hear some music and experience a real, live radio broadcast in all of it's glory. I was very impressed with the whole deal and it's very pleasing to see a thriving community radio station that hasn't been absorbed, chewed up, reformatted, and spit out by Clear Channel. I think the entire band dug Knoxville quite a bit and are looking forward to going back in late September.

MEMPHIS, TN
5.30.10

Slow Cooked Pork (I don't know how to put into words the open-mouth drooling sound that Homer makes but I think that might be two syllables)

Slow Cooked Pork (Homer Drool)
Cheese Stadium Cheese Cheese Sauce
Un-Be-Liev-A-Ble

These BBQ Nachos from Central BBQ in Memphis were amazing. For $8, I ate this on three separate occasions. Of course it was refrigerated -- at least once. I heated the nachos for a third time at one of our gas station stops, making both the customers and the "fatback pig" tilt their heads toward me quizzically.

Did I fail to mention that I was on a personal food tour while The Congress was schlepping around the country "working"? Well, I was, and the proof is in the pudding. Nah, just joking; I didn't have any pudding on the trip. If I had, don't you think I would have taken a picture of it? Of course, I would have taken the picture just before I jumped in the bathtub filled with jell-o pudding, which happens to be item #72 on the "Touring For Dummies" to do list.

Memphis was great, one of the best gigs of the trip. We played at a place called The Flying Saucer right off of Beale St. All of the windows on the joint were open and we perspired right along side the receptive audience. There were even a few folks who were in attendance throughout the duration of the show, People we have no relation to; they were not friends nor foe, allies or enemies. They were entranced with the music, their bodies swaying as if possessed by something otherworldly. The ghost of Jeff Buckley? Drunk on Memphis BBQ? Bewitched by Elvis? Speedballs? Who knows? All I know is that that's the most fun I had in Memphis since the first time I was there with my buddy Wilson 10 or 11 years ago.**

CARBONDALE, IL
5.31.10

Malkovich Malko
Vich Malkovich Malkovich
Malkovich Malko

Eh, not much to talk about from Carbondale. Nice folks. It was hot. Our "authentic" Mexican food took over an hour to cook. We didn't get to eat until after we were done playing. A very nice older married couple told us they hadn't "danced this much since our first date". That made me feel good. Due to the fact I am the drummer, when I don't see people dancing I feel like I have failed as a musician. Even more troubling, I feel like I have failed as a human being. Not the type of fail that requires a handful of Xanex (is that even a relevant pharmaceutical?) and a vodka soda with a twist of lime every night after work; more like the type of fail where I wonder if there really are aliens, and if I were alien and not human, and if I played drums at a sufficient ability for the alien audience, would they dance more than humans do?

With that, I bid you adieu. I'll have one more entry to cap off our trip but for now...

FIN

**My first "fun" trip to Memphis 11 years ago:

Wilson and I, being the Rage Against The Machine idealists that we were, attended a kkk protest adjacent to the steps of the state capital building. As 20-something Caucasian males, I think we might have gotten as many dirty looks from the local protesters as we did from the actual demonstrators (although it was hard to tell if the demonstrators were looking at us as their eyes were concealed by oddly shaped pointy cloth hats, hats that clearly impeded their judgment as much as their vision). We were threatened a few times and we were on the verge of getting shot with tear gas by the Memphis police. I was told at one point by the gentleman I was standing next to, "you boys are in the wrong place!" So much for solidarity. I looked to the rooftops and saw snipers attentively scouring the crowd. With bullhorn in hand, the demonstrators began mocking Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech. Needless to say, the crowds patience started to wane and we felt it was a good decision to depart the premises before emotions escalated and violence erupted. I believe we immediately regrouped at a restaurant and I took solace in a tower of onion rings -- a tower of solidarity onion rings, I should say...

Interlude...

I like continuity with my blog posts so I can keep my facts straight when moving from city to city. I'm going to deviate from that for the moment because I felt the need to post something at 11:30 Central Standard Time from Jackson, Mississippi.

1st off -- it's hot here. Forget everything I said about Charleston being hot. I don't know where I was drenched more... in the shower or after I got out. Humidity can suck it.

2nd -- Went to the best do-it-everything gas station today. There was a Back Yard Grill Burgers, Dunkin Donuts, a Fudge Shoppe, Catfish Kingdom, clean bathrooms, showers, steering wheels for sale, and a knife case. It's been rated number 1 on my list. Every BP I walk into, no matter how cool, is rated LAST. BP can suck it!

3rd -- I just realized that I used suck it! twice to end my categories. If you have a problem with that, suck it!

4th -- The following is the 6th image that comes up when you Google "Suck It!"



5th -- I'm a big fan of lists right now and I'm going to try to make it to 10 in the next 10 minutes. So if my entries suck (It!) than you can Suck It! Hah!

6th -- Ladies in Jackson, MS may rival Charleston, SC if not surpass. Just sayin

7th -- I listened to "The Word" when I crossed the border from Tennessee to Mississippi. The word was a collaborative effort between John Medeski, Robert Randolph, and The North Mississippi All Stars that was recorded and released several years ago. It's a beautiful homage to traditional southern gospel tunes via pedal steel, hammond organ, and a dirty rhythm section. Check it!


8th -- CENSORED

9th -- I really miss camping, hiking, the rocky mountains, green chili burritos, and cool, high altitude air. Camping especially -- I've been fantasizing about it. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm cooped up in a car for several hours a day and I need to get to some open space...

10th -- This inferno they call Mississippi is slowing me down to a crawl. I gotta get outta here to play some dang music. Perhaps I will find that crossroads tonight... That was really lame -- I was simply trying to find a way to work this picture I snapped in Leadville into the post.

Of course, if you don't like it, you can SUCK IT!

Good Bye.